When Life Changes Your Plans: A Lesson in Surrender, Flexibility, and Mindset

Just a week before I was supposed to head out west for the summer—something I’ve done every year for the last several years—I found myself standing in my backyard, holding a garbage bag, completely unaware that my entire summer was about to change.

It was a regular Sunday night. I let the dogs out while I took the garbage and recycling to the street. When I came back into the yard, I saw Sophie—my sweet, loyal, strong-willed pup—sitting in the grass. But something was off. She wasn’t getting up. She wasn’t moving. I called her, but she didn’t come.

I walked over, tried to help her up, and quickly realized something was very wrong. At first I thought it might be her spine, then maybe her hips—but after gently checking her legs, I realized it was her left back leg.

For context, this past November, Sophie tore her right ACL completely. We’ve spent months doing rehab, slow walks, supplements, joint support, careful movement—you name it. And now here we were again. Monday morning, I called our vet first thing and got an appointment for Tuesday. After his exam, he suspected a partial tear of the left ACL. Her good leg was now injured, and her weak leg was expected to carry the burden.

And just like that, my plans had to change.

The Unfolding You Don’t Expect—And Why You Have to Listen

When you’ve been planning something for months—or in my case, nearly a year—it’s not easy to shift gears. My entire dining room was full of gear for the trip: glamping essentials like my beloved icemaker, bear spray, and electric griddle. I had everything packed except my clothes. But the truth is, no matter how much you plan, life always has the final say.

I had to make a choice: force the trip and risk putting Sophie in more pain, or stay back and do what was in her best interest.

So I stayed.

And here’s the surprising part: the moment I made that decision, my nervous system exhaled. I could actually feel it. My body relaxed. My chest softened. There was no inner resistance left. I’ve learned over the years that our bodies often know the truth before our minds do—and when we stop overriding our systems, the path becomes clearer.

Mental Health Isn’t Just About Feelings—It’s About Flexibility

In my work as a therapist, I often talk about the importance of mental flexibility—the ability to pivot, adjust, and accept reality instead of resisting it. It’s one of the greatest indicators of emotional health. And yet, we live in a culture that glorifies pushing through, sticking to the plan, making it work no matter what. But sometimes, the real growth comes from learning how to let go and trust the unfolding.

I had friends tell me, “I would’ve been devastated if I had to cancel my summer trip.” But I wasn’t. Because I genuinely believe that what is before you is for you. And if I was meant to be in Washington this summer, I’d be there. But I’m not. I’m here. And I’m okay.

Making Peace with Plan B

Once I committed to staying in Naperville, I started to notice little gifts.

For one, I’ve been biking like a woman on a mission. I think I’ve logged over 125 miles in the last week, which is probably more than I’ve ridden in the last two years combined. (Shoutout to padded bike shorts—my unsung summer hero.)

Sophie’s on strict rest, anti-inflammatories, and pain meds. She got a cortisone injection, and I’ve got her as comfy as possible. While she rests, I’ve been moving—and it’s been healing in ways I didn’t expect.

It’s also my first summer in six years that I’m spending here in Illinois. I’ve been letting myself settle into it. Taking long bike rides. Catching up on home projects. Feeling the rhythm of this slower, less adventurous, but more grounded season.

The Lesson? Surrender Isn’t Weakness—It’s Wisdom

This experience reminded me of something I say often to clients:

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you make of it.

That doesn’t mean you don’t feel the disappointment or sadness. Trust me, I cried. I pouted. I stood in my dining room surrounded by camping bins and felt the full weight of the “non-trip.” But after I let myself feel it, I surrendered to it—and that made all the difference.

It’s not just about staying positive. It’s about shifting out of resistance and into alignment. It’s about trusting the detour.

Because sometimes the detour is the path.

Why This Matters for Your Mental Health

Here’s the truth: emotional resilience isn’t about perfection. It’s about learning to adapt without abandoning yourself. It’s about staying present, being honest, and letting your nervous system be your compass.

In therapy and in life, it’s not about controlling everything. It’s about how we respond when things don’t go as planned. Can we soften? Can we listen? Can we trust that we’re still exactly where we’re meant to be?

I don’t know what the rest of the summer holds, but I do know this: I’m here. I’m grounded. My dog is healing. And I’m still riding toward joy—just on two wheels instead of four.

If you’re struggling to adapt to a life change, feeling anxious, or finding it hard to let go of a plan that’s no longer serving you, therapy can help. My work is rooted in holistic, compassionate, results-oriented care that honors both your body and your mind. I work with people who are ready to stop resisting and start responding with clarity and courage.

You don’t have to figure it out alone.

River Phoenix, MS, LCPC, LMHC, is a therapist and transformational guide offering counseling and healing sessions for people who want real change. Learn more or book a session at riverhealingtherapy.com.